As the river gently flows, she can see small ripples in the water.
She looks up to the swaying trees and branches as the wind slowly touches her face.
Feeling relxed, she gazes out upon the river,
seeing the sun glistening off the water like jewels.
All worries are forgotten
All her cares are long gone.
She lays back onto the soft grass to hear a bee buzzing by her ear
but she isn't startled.
The birds chirp softly, singing sweet melodies.
The gentle water laps against the rocks on the shore,
Never seeming threatening.
A relxing day by the river,
a feeling of complete serenity.
She looks up to the swaying trees and branches as the wind slowly touches her face.
Feeling relxed, she gazes out upon the river,
seeing the sun glistening off the water like jewels.
All worries are forgotten
All her cares are long gone.
She lays back onto the soft grass to hear a bee buzzing by her ear
but she isn't startled.
The birds chirp softly, singing sweet melodies.
The gentle water laps against the rocks on the shore,
Never seeming threatening.
A relxing day by the river,
a feeling of complete serenity.
Hayley,
ReplyDeleteThe fact that it is a woman, makes the environment completely different. It makes it seem like she is vulnerable to the world because she just lies there completely carefree. It is like she is sinking into her surroundings, which gives the reader a soothing feeling.
Good work!
Hayley!
ReplyDeleteI love the emotions in your poem! It gives the impression that the woman forgets about everything that is going on in her life and her thoughts get lost in her peaceful surrounding.
Good job! :)
"The sun glistening off the water like jewels" is a nice image. I envy the narrator! If only there were more moments like that in life! If you were to develop this poem further I would suggest focusing on sensory details to show us how relaxing the scene is and how relaxed the narrator is instead of using the word "relaxed."
ReplyDeleteHayley,
ReplyDeleteYour poem made me feel very relaxed and it made want to read more. The descriptive words that you used were very effective. I specifically like part where it says how all of her worries and cares were forgotten. It really shows how peaceful and soothing sitting by a river can be.
Good job :)